Monday, April 26, 2010

Maybe, Maybe Not

Dad's on business in Norfolk. When we went there in the summer, it was different. Really different. I used to have hopes that one day, we'd move back into the same house and continue our normal processes there- but a bit of those dreams vanished everytime I realized that I love Florida and my friends. But it still felt like the world had continued to move on without us, not caring that we had moved, or that a new family was there. Life just kept going, never slowing, pausing, for it to realize its occupants had moved. It was sad. But I'm still a Virginia girl. But I'm a Floridian, too. I might not have been born down here, and I hate the heat, but this is where my friends, my life is. As Ashley Greene puts it, "I'll always be a Florida girl with Southern roots." ('Cause in the Civil War, weren't Virginians called Southern Belles? Idk.)

I really need to work on my science grade. It's an 80! But there are only like 5 grades in it so far, but it's not good! I need to pull that up so I can have straight A's. I didn't work all of middle school to ruin it my last quarter of my last year in one class. Ughhhh. I need to work on this... It wouldn't be an 80 if I hadn't taken that quiz that I missed the instruction and notes on. Stupid dentist :( But, it is my fault. I should have looked it over better knowing I missed it. Now all I can do is do basically all the labs possible. Which stinks 'cause I've seen them and there aren't really easy ones yet...

I really want to go to Zack's party, but then, I don't. I mean, I want to go to celebrate his birthday and hang out with him and my friends, but I don't want to be all alone. Sara is going to make Laurel hang out with her- even though Laurel's been my friend since ever. Sabrina and Maggie would be fun to be with, but they'll be talking about all sorts of inside jokes and I won't understand them at all :(. And, I mean, Jojo and Katelyn are only going because they get to wear a bathing suits. And Connor, Teagan, Blake, and Kameron are all going- blech. Whatever I do, I'm still going to get Zack something awesome... And he has 2 dogs. 2! But if he promises to keep them away from me, I think I can survive well enough... And I'm sure I can help Mrs. Sokolowski :). I don't know what I'm doing. I don't even know what I want to do. Ughh. I hate this feeling.

We went to Cracker Barrel for dinner tonight. I really want to work on TCB, but I have homework. I don't know. I really don't know. I keep pushing down this feeling, but it's still there, waiting for my to crack so it can flow up to the surface and wreak havoc on me. I don't know...
-Jess :) <---- smileys make me feel better :)

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